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Monday, February 9, 2015

A Squirrel Sent Me To Crazy Town

Please don't be distracted by the cuteness of the squirrels in the above picture. Ignore their fluffy soft tails that I desperately want to pet and touch. Ignore the cute paws that can hold things in a human likeness. Ignore their athletic dexterity that allows them to do acrobatic exercises on my bird feeder. These adorable squirrels have pushed me over the edge.

If you are living anywhere warm or slightly warm or may have experienced warmness in the recent past or will in the near future. I am telling you now that I hate your guts and we can only be friends again once it is summer here in Maine (which lasts approximately 2 weeks immediately following 4th of July and then we can feel the change over coming again...than I will go back to hating your guts). That has nothing to do with my story but I thought you should know my true feelings about you and your stupid warm weather (that I would desperately like to experience).

We have been in a holding pattern in Maine. We get the delightful bounce between scary amounts of snow and frigid weather that makes you wish you didn't have to breath because it hurts so bad. Air should not hurt your face! In the good old days it would at least warm up when the snow came. The joke is on us this year because we get the balmy temperature of 10 degrees during the snow storms (can't wait to see my gas bill this month...have you ever wondered how much it would cost to heat your house a good 60-70 degrees from the outside temperature? No worries, I can let you know next month!). It makes me so sad to know how excited I am about tomorrow when we are supposed to get up to 28 degrees. I almost shouldn't bother with a coat if it is going to be that warm.

 Since Saturday night we have had on and off snow. Picture rain in Seattle or London but we get white fluffy stuff instead. It's ok, it is supposed to stop some time early tomorrow. 55 hours of snow, no biggie. If we were able to have numerous snow days, I would love the stuff. Because we live in Maine, it remains business as usual. Don't worry...the squirrels are making it into the story shortly!

This morning I woke up to every parent's nightmare. A young child with a fever. Gabrian was fine but the school won't take him sick (I am not complaining, its just stinks to have to use a PTO day when he was feeling fine other than a fever and sore throat). As a single parent, guess who has to take a day out of work? If it had been a snow day I could have left him home with Riley but they didn't even give him a delay today. At least we got to spend the day in our pajamas.

This past Christmas I received the most awesome bird feeder from my Mom. I have really started to enjoy watching the birds come to feed out of it. My favorite are the cardinals (I am attracted to red things). Yesterday I trudged out in 5 feet of snow to fill up the feeder (that may have been a slight exaggeration but it was up to my thighs). Since I was going to be home today I was looking forward to a day full of bird watching.

It was going great this morning until I noticed this tag team squirrel pair do Olympic Gymnastic routine to steal my bird food. I wouldn't mind if they took a nibble and then went on about their day. But not those greedy bastards. They were going to town and I snapped (cabin fever may have slightly played into this). I whipped open the door and started to yell at them. I screamed at them that I could see them and they better take their cute fluffy tails and take a hike. I started frantically looking around my house for a rock to throw at them (lets not question why I thought I had a rock in my house available). They took the opportunity while I was distracted to make their getaway.

They took off but I know they are out there. They are just waiting for me to blink and they are going to be back here like gangsters. I am thinking about investing in a gun. A nice pellet gun just to scare them. Everyone in crazy town has a gun right?