I was listening to my iPod this afternoon and Eminem's "Going Through Changes" song from his "Recovery" album came on. Two lines of lyrics really stuck out to me.
"I'm hatin' my reflection, I walk around the house tryin' to fight mirrors,
I can't stand what I look like, yeah, I look fat, but what do I care?"
This really struck a chord with me. I do just about everything in my power to avoid mirrors. I think if I can avoid looking at myself than I can trick myself into realizing how large I have gotten. Sometimes I am truly surprised when I catch a glimpse at myself and I don't realize that it is me. I think oh wow look at that big girl. I can't tell you how disappointed I am when I realize it is myself.
I need to work on accepting myself as I am. Yes, I am working on a healthier me but in the meantime I need to start working on liking myself. I am not going to lose the weight and magically start loving myself after the weight is off. I need to like myself first.
I hope I remember these lyrics the next time I am at the mirror. I don't want to be like this anymore. I think that this is a great first step.
Plan wise I have done great today....except for that stupid water. Let's pretend I never made that goal for myself. Just kidding...I need to hold myself accountable and just keep working on it. Tomorrow is my Bacon party so I will probably MIA. I will see you guys Sunday where I can dish all about my party!!