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Sunday, June 30, 2013

My Life Dream

I am feeling the need to wander. I struggle with making sure my kids feel like they have a stable place in life and my need to gain new experiences. I definitely have a "grass is greener on the other side" mentality. I always think things will be better and easier if I could just be somewhere else. I have vowed to cool my heels for the next three years so that Riley can graduate High School in peace. He loves where he is now in High School and I don't want to mess it up for him. I also don't want to leave him behind so I m hoping that when I move he wants to come with me.

My hope and dream is to move to Santiago, Chile in 3-4 years. Gabrian is half Chilean and I would love for him to know about his other half and get a real sense of family. He has such a large family there and I would love for him to really get to know them. I would like to live there anywhere from 1 - 5 years or maybe even longer.

My goal would be to save up enough to live there for a year even if I couldn't find a job. If I was able to find a job then possibly we could stay there longer. I need to make sure we have money to get back to the US and become established again whenever we decided we were done.

I would love if Riley would come with me to do part or all of his degree there. In my dream world my Mom would come with us too. That way I wouldn't feel homesick.

I wonder if there will ever be a time that I am satisfied with where I live and the life I have. I guess the bigger question is when do I become ok and satisfied with me. If I am being honest with myself I am always looking for the next thing because I am trying to get away from myself. Maybe I will like myself in the new place. Maybe my envisioned life will happen in the new location.

In the meantime I will have a goal to work on. When I am working on a goal than I feel better about myself. I have given myself 3 years (Riley's High School Graduation) to have reached my goal weight and become fluent in Spanish. I am also going to start working out a budget to find out what it would truly cost me to live in Chile for 1 year. I can start researching companies I could potentially work in. I also need to find out if my job will allow a Leave of Absence. It would be really nice to have a job to come back to when and if I decide to leave Chile.

It is exciting to have goals. I hope in my following posts I can let you know how my progress is going.